The Eternal Abyss of My Endless Darkness

Singaporeans... rolls eyes

2007-03-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

"The statement published on the Methodist Message web site reads: “We are aware that the proposed amendment to delete section 377 PC but on the other hand retaining section 377A PC may be controversial in some quarters. Nevertheless, we consider homosexual acts to be sinful, abhorrent and deviant, whether consensual or not. The NCCS commends the Government on taking a clear, unequivocal and bold stand of neither encouraging nor endorsing a homosexual lifestyle and opposing the presentation of the same as part of a mainstream way of life.”

Although the NCCS has in 2003 publicly urged the government to maintain current legislation concerning homosexuality, not permit the registration of homosexual societies or clubs and not allow the promotion of homosexual lifestyle and activities, this is the first time it has called for the criminalisation of lesbianism.

“Given that section 377A PC criminalises homosexuality whether done private or publicly, we are of the view that a similar prohibition ought to be enacted in respect of lesbianism, considering that lesbianism (like homosexuality) is also abhorrent and deviant, whether consensual or not.'” Said the statement."

Now honestly, I don't know WHAT the NCCS's problem is. What is so wrong with repealing that particular OUTDATED, UNWORLDLY part of the constitution.

I do understand the political concerns, but honestly, no one would call the government "encouraging" same-sex behaviour just because it doesn't criminalize it. So if the government doesn't criminalize the playing of soccer along the void decks, it's ENCORAGING?

What really rankles me is the fact that they don't notice the prejudice we already face, and still wants to condemn us further with their rights, morals and downright bullshit ethics (which, they normally do not practice).

Yeah well, most probably the government will criminalize us even further, just to get those extra votes anyways

Lunar Issues

2007-02-18T01:33:00.000-08:00

I detest, loathe, hate Lunar New Year. Fine, so we get red packets and all, but the plasticity in the air is sheer idiocy. Not to mention the soppy shows they always air.

The only part I love about CNY is the shopping. Being the absolute Glamazon I am, I go for the understated this year, I went chic executive. I bought a random junk shirt off the rack (which I, must say, looks pretty, but heck, I don't have anythign to go with it), some cool cufflinks, and well.. yeah, i splayed the new year with my killer charms (Ugh, god, am I actually reading what i'm writing?)

It's been a long weekend out of camp for me. I can't wait for the 20 months to end. I can smell the dark, intoxicating odour of decadence slowly, but surely seeping into my veins. I can picture the freedom, the workload, the slavery to fashion... and I yearn for its addictive touch... I can;t wait...

Here are some pics by the way.. Some guy called Daryll asked for some, so there .. Aha
'

cufflinks!!!!!!!!!
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v392/Chamchi-wallace/DSC00020.jpg[/IMG]

Rants of a Sound Delusion

2006-10-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

Fashion, Style, Class, Glam... Who decides and who abides? i;ve been dolling myself up forever and EVER. For who else, but myself, enjoys looking at me and knows me as well as I do?

Why do I bother? looking good, I guess. Does it matter? yes it does. Why? It goes back to the one basic principle: Feeling good about yourself.

I know it's materialistic and all that, but I think looking good for yourself and TO yourself is more important than what someone else thinks. Confidence and style begins when you begin to FELL yourself, KNOW the moves and appreciate all the details. A good set of clothes doesn't HAVE to be Hermes or Versace (though I must say, I LOVE those brands, but we digress). A good set of clothes are those that flatter your body, couture that looks good and makes you FEEL good. I know most people prefer comfort over style, but why not dress for stylish comfort?

Yes, the effort. I know. The HOURS of perfecting that right touch, the moments of fitting jacket over jeans, shirt over pants, spiking the hair or that last touch of manicure, but if neauty doesn't come with a price, it wouldn't be important.

Indeed, a small price to pay, for looking Great everyday.

Hey, even Buddha needs a golden body.

The nature of Life

2006-10-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

It's been forever and a day since I last posted, and those days weren't just spent in endless, meaningless meeriment (well, there WERE days spent in decadence, but....). I've some time spent observing the things and people around em, their behaviours, and their somewhat irrationality at times. The results of mine studies are, somewhat, a mix of rather weird findings.

It is the nature of things to be, just like the nature of time is to flow and the nature of life to BE. Thus, darkness exists to seperate light, and evil exists to set off good. Law and chaos in equal balance, and all in perfect harmony. People talk fo living a sinless life. That's sheer idiocy.

Being able to recognize SIN is a good thing, and doing things in moderation even more so. Belief in a secular "i'm-a-goddamned-saint" lifestyle just don't cut it. How many honest people can say they are sinless and blameless? None for "All for fallen short of the glory of God"

Thus I'd like to say that one does nto need to fear the darker side of life, not fear new and alien things. IT is but one side of life that you have not seen. Fear in itslef is created to offset joy, just as anger exists to balance calm. Men to Balance women, and gays to balance heterosexuals. But we digress. If one can learn to live in harmony with the balance of things and appreciate their nature, we'd all liv much more agreeable and better lives.

Le Memoirs

2006-09-17T05:06:00.000-07:00

i've been sleeping less than when i'm working. Strange. I've been drinking alot too. Boredom mostly... But mostly, I've been starting on my story, "FAE", and it's not going as smoothly as i thought it would. Generally, I'm rusty. Need to buck up a little. So far only 2 chapters are up. It seems that my life's destinied to be lonely. And full of hot, kiny encounters, but never ever settling down. Pfft.

"The Edge of life approached like a swift knife thrust and i gladly take it to my throat, only to have it turned aside"

Views on recent events. Disappointed with the title? Too bad

2006-09-03T23:57:00.000-07:00

Another few weeks. Another few thoughts. Another boyfriend... -figure. I just don'w want to hear anymore about being monogamously attached to a guy, no matter how much i yearn to be. It's just too disappointing. told myself " Go on. try to get attached to that.. rather wild, not very polished one. Maybe he just MIGHT click..." but no. Just another disappointment. And what else can I do but act like I don't care? Does anybody care? One after another, guy after the next. What more do I have to give? What more can i give? It's just the same at work. One VIP after another.Another walk-in, another piece of couture. does anyone ultimately care about me? I don;t feel so , neither Do I think so. Show me if you think you do. No reply.

Silence. Typical. Moving on.

The DEVIL WEARS PRADA movie is quite different from the original book. Meryl Streep ( I love that Dame, i really do) plays Miranda Priestly as much as a person can. The movie's only letdown is turning the whole thing into a happy ending. And yes, Miranda Priestly IS a little human in the movie, which she wasn't in the book. nice music, nice fashion. Characters were swapped or replaced. Don't wanna divulge too much for those who haven't watched yet, though i doubt anyone reads this crap.

Now. I feel like leaving my job. Nothign glamourous i guess. Just that no one really cares about my performance at work anymore. I don't have Monster bosses like Miranda Priestly of course, but things just changed. Peopel don't seem to care anymore. I was so full of hope. I handled VIPs. I handled stock. I handled walk-ins. I pulled 2 to 3 times my own weight at times. Does anyoen notice or care? Not really, I don't think. I don't really hate my job. I just feel like i'm no longer needed. And natalie said it clearly she didn't needed so many staff anymore. Fien then. I'll leave . Thanks for the months of grooming, love. It bereaved me of much oppurtunities too. You win some you lose some ?

Smashing. Absolutely. I'll be leaving my work place in a week. I guss it's time to bow out when your role is done. I'll leave my VIP list with them. Best of luck handling those people you'd rather not when i'm not around. Not that I think you people care.

" No one is indispensable" and I pretty much guess no one is valuable too.

That's all

Kisses and Hugs

2006-08-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

I love Kisses. They can either be raunchy, or sweet, lazy or passionate. It's all about control and mood. Kisses can turn you on or make you feel special, be a greeting or make you an absolutely slut. It all depends on how you phrase that particular peck.

Hugs are just LOVELY. I adore getting hugged, even if it' just by my friends. It always makes ,e feel special. Besides, you can't fake a proper hug. Insincerity seeps through the membrane and turns the whole embrace into a stiff deadlock.

HE has none of those problems. He's just tiny and loveable. I'm not going to let anything hurt him at all. Absolutely nothing. Not if I can help it. I'm definitely going to get him some moisturiser. He's flaking from all that sun tanning... Hmmmmz

Love ya sweety... *BITES*

Paranoia at Midnight

2006-08-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

It's 3 in the morning.. What am I doing up you say? Well.. I napped in the day. not to mention the fact that HE is coming to my place after KTV later.. Woot woot Rawr! But it's still abt 2 more hours to go. Perhaps i shall nap a lil while more later.. PERHAPS, Perhaps perhaps...

CAlled my workplace to tell them I'm ok now and i'll be going back to work earlier today (not to mntion ask about business), but all I got was a semi-cold answer by JESS (of all people). It seems they want me to rest, still. But I'm perfectly healthy. Why would I need so much rest even after i've recovered? Geez

Can't wait to see him later. ANd Hug him.. AND ah well.. haha

Queen of the Damned

2006-08-13T20:43:00.000-07:00

Looking back in life, especially after that nice chat (With it's VERY nice conclusion, but I digress ) with Jayden last night, I amde some point to recollect all my memories.

yes, it does indeed seem that I always appear to eb what they call a "Lao jiao" (Old Bird). hmmm... I wonder why. Perhaps it's beacuse I take life to be one big joke, and at other times over seriously. I always love to keep busy , doing something at one time or the other. Inactivity drives me NUTS! So I've been working, studying, Dragging... Yes well.. ahh, that no so famous part of my life. My ideas are rather incoherent today so bear with me...

It all began when I was born. Having both parents working left me growing up in the care of my Nanny and her family. It would seem weird but I always loved that family more than my own. My family had, up to the point when i moved back with my family, been nothing more than a weekend hindrance. I began helping out my mother at her canteen stall. It was filthy ,sticky and often times hard work, but I enjoyed every single moment of it. Partly, I love my mum, secondly, I could look at all the Cute (and oftn not-so-cute) college boys and girls. Note how I;ve noticed girls at such a young age? Guess What, guys featued hugely then already. Thinking it was just sheer idiocy for me to like a guy, I concentrated on girls...

Education was a small and rather irritating part of life. It was crucial, but did people ALWAYS have to make such a fuss about academics? Jeez... Anyway, the only non-fucked up pat of my life were the CCAs and my dance education. That was till Sec 4 anyway.

And then came MDIS! Lord I loved that Oh-so-stressful period of my life where i was working and studying at the same time. Sure It got me so messed up at times I felt like biting someonr, but it was filled with memories I'll probably bnever forget.. My gang of misfits rebelled in the best possible way; we stood out. Kaizer, Hazel, Ash, Kyle, Victoria, Dian aka Mu, the beautiful Prianca, Yenny, these giants filled my life with light and love.

ANd yes, that was when I first stepped out into the gay circle. At first it was filled with cobwebs and moonbeams sicne people had very deliberately led me down the path into a groupie mentality. Unfortunately, it didn't work and I was just about as solitary and steady as a rock in my convictions. In sucha short time, I spanned several images : The Slut, The Drag, The Outcast, The Goth. Lord and Lady up High, how fun thsoe days were. I felt Love back then too, with my then sweetheart Ruiken. He was the Joy of my life, but he alsoo forced me to take apart my heart. Love is amusing no?

And from then on, my life reeled from one boyfriend to another date just abuot as quickly as a sailor sways on board. Now, I'm going to try it one last time. let me trust you in, Friesboy :p May our relationship be good. Goddess, sanction my path and guide my soul!

Angels...

2006-08-01T18:47:00.000-07:00

Angels.. How do they differ from Men? And how much different are they from Demons? Fallen, Seraphs.. what difference does it make? Why does everyone make such a big fuss out of good and evil? Can;t theyre be evil christians and good satanists? Life is always full fo such oxymorons, no? Just because you believe in a mainstream religion you MUST be good. Then if I, a pagan, who worships 4 differerent Goddesses, is to be condemned, why should you attain salvation? Does condemnation ever do any good? I doubt, my loves, I doubt.

"Lo, beware, for there the Angels fear to tread..."

why do angels fear ANYTHING, if they are the messengers of God? Righteousness? Or duty? Fear? Temptation? You decide.

Now, i'd like to post the lurics to one of my favourtie songs from one of my favourtie bands.

Angels

By Within Temptations

Sparkling angel I believedYou are my savior in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.
I see the angels,I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,No mercy no more.
No remorse cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart.

You took my heart,Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,I wished they turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realise.
It was all just a lie.

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me
.Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
I see the angels,I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape nowNo mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart

You took my heart,Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realise.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

This world may have failed you,
It doesn't give you a reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.

The smile when you tore me apart

.You took my heart,Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realise.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

Amour memoirs

2006-07-27T18:57:00.000-07:00

I can scarcely remember... Love. How it really feels. It's always been one guy or another. Long ago.. It used to be girls... That feeling of selflessness and absolute adoration... I wonder where it went... Now I don't think I know to love anymore no. I don't think I can love anyone at all. Now I just want a stable relationship. I don't give a damn what my boyfriend does as long as he loves me.

That sounds selfish i know. Isn't life just filled with such disappointments? Mine is, anyways.

And the eternal sky with her adorned by Luna and her luminous court shone upon the cold hard earth to bring joy to the needy, but in the shadows lurked those yearning but not heedful, needing but not given salvation. Life is the gift of Love, but we chose the path of damnation.

2006-07-26T18:59:00.000-07:00

Angels

2006-07-26T18:47:00.000-07:00

The One Winged Angel

Cassis and me

2006-07-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

I love roses. Why? They rock. Black, red, pink, blu, yellow, damask, cabbage.. you name it, there are just so many versions of the rose... All so different yet so much the same. I guess in many ways life is like that, and so am I. I don so many masks that i sometimes lose track of who I am and what i'm doing... People lose track of who I really am and put me in that damned stereotypical mindset of theirs.. I am NOT who you people think I am, neihter do I have to conform to anything you say because I am pretty much who I am : ME.

Now that was fun. Screaming and raving mentally while typing out those words always is. Gosh I'm bored. Bored bored bored. I have a new date. Bored. I like my new date already. He's fun. Here's the problem. I already HAVE a date. I don't really like HIM that much. too much of a boy for my taste. He's sweet though, so I can't complain. Can't bear to hurt him.

Since when have I become such a ninny?! Gee... You'd think the thousand and one hardships, heartbreaks and flings i've had would have made me an emotionless husk, but no... Obviously Hera and Aphrodite has other plans... Ahh well... Luna's always smiling beatifically on me though, so I don't complain...

Right.. It's getting a little too early. Good morning everyone, I retire to my crypt. Shall post more... Though I doubt anyone reads this shit

La fortuna de amour

2006-07-09T17:24:00.000-07:00

How strange it is, to finally note that I have the heart to meet people again... I have self imposed a solitude that was.. in the nature of a decpetion, showing all a mask of absolute joy, when deep inside all had been torn asunder...

Oh lonely Cassia, do you not bloom under the warmth of love? But why would thy fate be thrust thereafter into eternal solitude to wilt in utter despair?

I'm changin gagain... I noticed that I seem to change every so often... Guess that's survival for you... but one thing will NOT change.. My character. I'm still that hard-hearted, strong headed ram, so for Goddess's sake , don't cross my path.

Wee.. I got my hug and snuggle last night... Bad karma though. I got loads of marks to cover today... And I might be meeting someone tonight again... It all depends on that guy though.

2006-07-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

Gazette - Cassis (PV)

Tofu tanabanta

2006-07-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

It was a fun day.. Work started out normally as usual. What else can you talk about at work? Yesterday was slightly different though.. I spent an hour or so at OPI having my nails doen up for Alexis's gallery and website opening. It was Kinky.. haha.. still have the designs on my nails now
seems like they're fading though.. Damned OPI.. Cheat my FEEELINGS... Ah well.. we digress.. I knocked off early, and began to do a simple makeup routine for the party... People kept butting in though.. why can't they see that I was simply going for the plain gothic look? no mascara and eyeclour, just black and white? Anyway.. reahced there pretty late.. ANd had some fun... The tofu rocks, thanks to Alexis for the nice stuff and I got some new accessories and postcards... It was really... coooool ahah

Pix are up... YAY!

Mayhaps I shall drop by cosfest in OC... I don't know yet.. It all depends on how wild I am tonight haha... Cheerio then for now...

2006-07-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

Gazette - Reila

Reila....

2006-07-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

MALICE MIZER-BEAST OF BLOOD

2006-07-07T19:01:00.000-07:00

The King and the Clown MV

So touching... When will my love come?

Sympohnies of an unqueit mind

2006-07-07T10:32:00.000-07:00

Melodic are the words that spill forth from my unbridled mind... But oh how sad my soul flows forth to join battle with joy... Never have I known happiness that lasts, for transient is such mindless emotion... Why else would I be here, dear dear mortal, in the stillness of night to let you read of my dark and pitiless existence? Naught are ye thoughts, for henceforth thou shall read mine words...

now that was a whole lot of crap... It's just a good way of saying "i'm lost, confused and DAmned If i can feel happy"

Too many heartbreaks and sorrows... and yes, well, the inevitable National service crap has come up. Such a waste of 2 years of my time... But it's as inexorable as the tide.